Mom's Please Help!

I have to go to Seattle this weekend for work meetings and I am kind of freaking out...I am going to miss Krue so much! He is staying with my mom so I know he is in good hands but I am still having so much anxiety about it. I know it sounds ridiculous but I am afraid he is going to forget me. YIKES. And I know I am going to miss him like crazy, i'll miss all the grunting noises he makes, the giggling in his sleep,bathtime, his beautiful eyes and even his stinky smelly diapers. I know I am being crazy. I know I am going to have a breakdown while I am there. It just seems way to soon to leave him, if I could get out of it, I would. When I come back I have to go back to work full time and that stresses me out even more, but you got to do what you got to do. I just can' t wait till I'm done with school. I am going for Elementry Ed. Even though it is less money then I make now. It will be worth it, the hours are great, great benifits, and I will get to spend my summers with Krue (and my other children someday). Anyway I just need help getting through the next few days. I dont think I am going to be able to put him down at all tomorrow. I will just hold him and hug and kiss him! Geeze, I never thought it would be this hard. Oh and one last thought, this is how proud I am. I even bought a little book that holds pictures, that I can keep in my purse and show everyone!

I will try to post some pics tomorrow before I go but if not I will do it first thing when i get back!

He is growing up to fast!

I Love my mommy!

Too Cute!!!!Visiting Grandpa at work.

Happy Birthday! One month old, and look how big I'm getting.

Splish Splash!I love my Uncle Dylan.

Meeting cousin Zharius, not very happy babies.

Please don't take it away:)
Sleepy time with Aunt Jasmines blanket, sshhh, dont tell.

Home from the hospital
Grandma andKrue
Bath time! He loves it!

So Krue is now a month old. I can not believe it! I will hurry and catch everyone up with how we are doing and tell you a little about Krue's personality since I am so far behind on this blog thing:).

He is getting so big and so much more alert. When I took him to his 2 week check up he was 9.6, the Dr. said that most babies lose wieght when they are first born. So I asked if I was over feeding him and he replied, "no just keep feeding him when he hungry". I wanted to say if i fed him everytime he was hungry he would have been 19 pounds. Being a typical boy he thinks he always has to be eating! He really is a good baby. He doesnt cry unless he needs something. I wouldn't exactly say he is quiet though. He makes so many noises when he is awake and asleep. He wants to talk so bad but cant quiet figure it out. He also makes the cutest humming noise while he eats. The happier he is, the louder it gets. He is very attentive and wants to look at everything. He is a very good happy baby. He is starting to sleep longer through the nights which makes mom happy. We read books daily, take lots of walks and spend time with family and friends. I give him hugs and kisses daily and I am sure he is sick of it, but I love him so much and know he is going to grow up to soon. I cherish every moment I have with him. I have to go back to work soon and its been really hard for me, but I know if i focus working and getting through school fast then it will benifit us in the long run. I cant say it enough but I feel truly blessed, I guess until you are a mother you dont really know the mother-child bond, but now I know how strong it is. The feelings of being a mother overwhelm me daily. Krue, I love you more then you will ever know!

8/8/08

Krue Jaxzen Staheli

Since Krue was born on 8/8/08, which is the Chinese lucky number, and also the same day the Olympics in China started , I thought I would implement some of that luck into his name. I chose to spell Jaxson; Jaxzen in rememberance of his special birthday.

Zen: a chinese Buddhist that teaches self-discipline, meditation and attainment of enlightenment through direct intuitive insight.

My first time holding him

When they handed Krue to me I could not stop crying, tears of joy, of course. To think that I created this wonderful healthy baby and that I get to be his mother for the rest of my life touches me in a way that I cant explain. It was the most overwhelming, amazing feeling I have ever had in my life. I am so lucky to have him. I love him more than he will ever know.

On Friday the 8th of August my beautiful boy was born. He was a healthy 8pounds 1ounces and 20.5 inches long. He is the most gorgeous baby ever. The day was wonderful. You here all of these horror stories about labor so I think you prepare yourself for the worst, but it was a wonderful easy day. Of course there were hard parts but in the end you don't even remember them because of the wonderful gift that comes from it. My Mom Starr and Jasmine were in the room during delivery. My mom and Starr were at my sides helping me along and yelling at me to push(that gets annoying really fast) and Jasmine was being little miss photographer. She got so many pics, even some I didnt want. I was glad she took so many though so I will always be able to remember this special day. After he was born the rest of my family came in and met baby Krue for the first time.

Nursery

I have to show off Krues nursery since I don't think he is going to be to excited about it. I love it and feel very lucky to have such a great set up for him. My mom and Jason helped me buy the furniture and bedding. My family has been really great to help out how they can. I also have a the most comfortable rocking chair! Once you are in it you don't want to get out, Krue and I have taken many naps there.

Starr & Chads Wedding

Starr and Chad were married on June 20th in the St. George temple and had their reception at Staheli Catering barn. The whole day was great and the reception area turned out to be so beautiful. Jasmine works at a Patches, so she helped make all the flower arrangments and decorate. I am so happy for Starr and Chad, I wish them the best of luck. We are greatful to have Chad be apart of our family and I hope he knows that, even though we give him a hard time. We miss you both.

Baby shower

My wonderful sisters and mom through me a baby shower on July 19th. It was so fun, I got alot of great gifts! We didnt play any games or anything we just sat around and chatted and munched on good food, which I think most people like better, I know at least I do. After the shower I felt pretty set and ready to have the baby!

My Christmas Gift

On Dec. 27th 2007 I found out I was pregnant. I was living in Orem at the time and had just got done with a long holiday season managing Zumiez. When I found out I was pregnant I decided that it would be best to move back home to be close to my family and friends, which was the best desicion I could have made. I could not have gone through the last nine months with out them. I truly am lucky to have love and support from my family and friends. I cant thank everyone enough for all that they have done for me.

Becoming pregnant completly changed my life, obviously. It might sound weird to say but it truly was a blessing. It made me focus on the things that really are important in life. It was a huge wake up call for me and I feel like I was given a second chance to live my life to the fullest. I have always wanted to be a mom (ask my brothers and sisters, sometimes they have to remind my I'm not their mom). I will try everyday to be the best mom I can be and am so excited for the adventure.